Conflict Can Be Good...

Process issues, roles and responsibilities, organizational direction, external pressures and interpersonal problems all create conflict. While each area may call for different strategies to identify and address the root cause of these conflicts, there are four best practices talent leaders can use to guide effective resolution in the workplace.

Process Conflict: Process conflict commonly arises when two departments, teams or groups interact on a process. They may view the process differently, disagree on how it should be accomplished or point fingers rather than communicating effectively when problems arise. For example, at a global manufacturer of heavy lifting equipment, three shifts were involved in the production of a machine, which often suffered from poor quality or low production rates. No standard process existed to build the machine, and each shift believed its approach was best. If one shift ended before the product was completed, the next group would either send the machine through without completing it - which resulted in poor quality - or take it apart and rebuild it - which slowed production. To identify the root cause of process conflict, examine the process controls in place and how employees interact with them. Get teams or individuals to collaborate to define the process more effectively and establish communication channels to address problems.

Role Conflict: Conflict surrounding roles and responsibilities is especially common during or immediately following organizational change, particularly restructurings. People may be unclear on who is responsible for which decisions and outputs. For example, after an international strategic business consulting firm restructured its managerial staff, an individual who formerly managed two key customer segments was unwilling to relinquish all the responsibility to the new manager. He continued to question staff and issue orders while his replacement was trying to set a new direction. With two managers giving input, employees were stuck in the middle, which created conflict among them as well as between the managers. To identify the root cause of a role conflict, each party needs to examine his or her responsibilities as well as the other person's. One or both may need to change their perception, and then they will need to collaborate to clarify who will handle what.

Directional Conflict: Directional conflict arises when organizations are forced to rethink their strategies and focus on shorter-term activities, as many did during the recent economic downturn. Employees may not know how to prioritize long-term versus short-term needs, or one department may work tactically while another remains strategic. For example, a regional insurance brokerage, representing several prominent insurance providers, was developing a succession plan and selected several managers to be groomed as next-generation leaders. This action resulted in directional conflict because the managers were unclear whether to focus on meeting their short-term goals or on the longer term succession efforts. To identify the root cause of directional conflict, individual employees should ask themselves: What do I believe our direction is or should be? Is that aligned with what others are saying? What are senior managers saying? Answering these questions will enable individuals to change their own direction if necessary and help others change theirs.

External Conflict: External conflict arises when pressures from customers or other stakeholders impact internal decisions. Recent economic challenges compelled organizations to adjust and adapt, for example, by lowering prices while providing enhanced customer service. Sales or customer service personnel advocating for customers' needs may have come into conflict with operations trying to meet internal goals. For example, a health care software company was pushing to bring a new product to market. Sales and customer service employees continued to bring customer input to the programming group, which did its best to incorporate the ideas into the product. As the requests continued to come in, it extended the development process beyond the planned release date. When management finally decided to release the product without further enhancements, additional conflict arose because customers now complained that their input was not incorporated. To identify the root cause of external conflict, ask if anyone internally has the control to resolve the problem. It may be possible to create a can-do list, which may answer questions such as: What can we do to address the external demand? The solution might involve collaboration among several departments to adjust to the external pressures more effectively.

Interpersonal Conflict: Although poor chemistry between individuals can exist, most interpersonal conflict tends to grow from the other four sources of conflict. For instance, when two managers attempt to direct the same department or when employees see external circumstances differently, interpersonal conflict builds. However, at times, genuine interpersonal conflict may exist. For instance, a national business services firm hired a new vice president whom the divisional personnel disliked because they felt he was not as open and direct as his predecessor. This created conflict between the leader and the team, which affected performance. To find the root cause of interpersonal conflict, look for a particular bias or prejudice. Can negative emotions be overcome? An open, direct conversation is always the best way to bring issues out in the open and begin working on a resolution.

There are four key steps to reduce and manage conflict.

1. Align on shared values and direction. Without a sense of commonality of vision and direction, underlying frustration, fear and conflict will fester despite attempts at resolution. Ask questions such as: Are we on the same page? Are we pursuing the same direction?

2. Take personal ownership. No one wants to be wrong. Once people stop assigning blame and responsibility to others, resolution becomes easier.

3. Deal with facts first, emotions second. Identify the problem and root cause of the conflict, and find a way to resolve the issue. With a resolution in place, handle the emotional component. If emotional issues are left unresolved, people won't buy into the solution.

4. Build collaboration. Without this step, people will resume work without interacting. This will renew the conflict. Align groups and departments to prevent future problems. Building trust is at the core of conflict resolution. Lack of trust is also a common reason why conflicts arise in the first place. With mutual trust, problems tend to be resolved quickly without escalating into conflict.

To rebuild lost trust, follow these steps:

1. Set the ego aside. Learn to say: It's not about me; it's about getting the best result. How can I interact with this individual at a human level to resolve the conflict?

2. Review the situation honestly. Ask: What assumptions do I bring to the table, and are those the real facts or just temporary feelings? Is there really an issue, or am I reading too much into the situation? When people are feeling low, tired or emotionally drained, conflicts arise more quickly.

3. Meet with the other party. Candidly explain the situation and how it creates a challenge or conflict. Ask for the other person's perspective. What was he or she trying to accomplish and why? Listen intently to gather information without refuting each statement directly.

4. Reach a decision. Determine whether trust has been broken and needs to be rebuilt or whether there was a simple misunderstanding that can be quickly clarified and resolved.

5. If trust has been broken, begin rebuilding it immediately.

Clearly articulate and share information on why the actions that broke trust were taken. Listen to the other person's perspective and articulate your own based on facts, not personalities. Don't tell the other person what to think, what the problem is and how to fix it. Listen and arrive at a resolution together.

6. Reach an agreement. Once both parties have articulated their perspectives, agree on how to move forward to build trust.

7. Honor agreements. Both parties have to hold up their end of the bargain. Do exactly what was promised or trust will fall to an even lower level. Continue to demonstrate trustworthiness day by day, activity by activity.

People tend to rely on status and position to handle conflicts. Both create mindsets that discourage people from taking personal responsibility for conflicts. However, while people may be unaccustomed to taking ownership of conflict and are uncomfortable about seeking out an opposing party directly, these steps are essential to resolve conflict and build trust.

Trust and Interaction Lead to Speed

How often have you been in a meeting with people where you know that a decision must be made quickly? People at the table have a conversation and a decision is seemingly made; however, when it comes to the execution of that decision, often there is a lack of buy-in and commitment. People rehash conversations and need to go back to get more information. While the need for speed drove the initial decision-making process, something in the discussion was missing. There was an ingredient that did not allow for speed.

 

More and more organizations are making decisions quickly. Given the challenges of today's marketplace, they have to. So the question becomes, how do individuals and teams operate at the speed that they need? In order to achieve the speed that is needed, there are two conditions that must be met first: trust and interaction.

 

Trust is critical to operating at the speed needed and still having individuals and teams do their best work. Having a foundation of trust between and among people, functions and groups is crucial. You have to trust that your partners and peers will do what they say they are going to do and follow through on what they have committed to. You have to trust others' motivations and information to be able to move ahead with decisions that need to be made.

 

The fundamental way to get that trust is through interaction. This means slowing down to speed up and taking the time to really know each other and understand what is important to each other. It is critical that we each know what the other person needs to do his or her best work and what is important to him or her when building a partnership. In order for that to happen, you need to know that your partners know who you are; will listen to you; and will respect you, and they need to know the same about you. Your partners need to feel included and feel safe to say what they need to say to you. It's a foundational building block to generating that trust that leads to enabling speed.

 

Sometimes organizations or teams try to go directly to speed and miss what is foundational. However, in order to be successful, the underlying foundations of interaction and trust are necessary. You can't skip steps and expect the same results. Without trust through interaction, the team will be wasting time and resources. Trying to go fast without the foundation often means team members have to do things over or they make mistakes because they were afraid to speak up. They might not feel safe to question or challenge what was being said or to present another point of view. Almost every team can go faster and meet the need for speed, but only when built on the foundations of trust and interaction.

"What is competency?”

Definition of a "Competency"

A competency is an underlying characteristic of an individual that is causally related to criterion-referenced effective and/or superior performance in a job or situation.

Underlying characteristics means the competency is a fairly deep and enduring part of a person's personality and can predict behavior in a wide variety of situations and job tasks.

Causally related means that a competency causes or predicts behavior and performance.

Criterion-referenced means that the competency actually predicts who does something well or poorly, as measured on specific criterion or standard.

There are five elements of competency.

1. Motives-The things a person consistently thinks about or wants and that which causes action. Motives "drive, direct, or select" behavior towards certain actions or goals and away from others.
2. Traits-Physical characteristics and consistent responses to situations or information.
3. Self-Concept- A person's attitudes, values, or self-image.
4. Skill-The ability to perform a certain physical or mental task.  
5. Knowledge-Information a person has in specific content area.

Types of Competencies in General

1. Individual competencies - your personal attributes: Flexibility, decisiveness, tenacity, independence, risk taking, personal integrity
2. Managerial competencies - taking charge of other people: Leadership, empowerment, strategic planning, corporate sensitivity, project management, management control
3. Analytical competencies - the elements of decision making: Innovation, analytical skills, numerical problem solving, problem solving, practical learning, detail consciousness
4. Interpersonal competencies - dealing with other people: Communication, impact, persuasiveness, personal awareness, teamwork, openness
5. Motivational competencies - the things that drive you: Resilience, energy, motivation, achievement orientation, initiative, and quality focus

10 Rules for Listening !!!

Rule #1: Stop Talking!

You can't multi-task speaking and listening. If you're talking, you're not listening. This rule also applies to the talking inside your head. If you're thinking intently about what you want to say, you're not listening to what is being said.
Rule #2: Create a Space

Create a physical space. Focus on reacting and responding to the speaker. Create, too, a space in your mind for what the speaker has to say. Create a space between your thoughts. Think of listening as a form of meditation. Quieten your mind and focus your attention on listening.

Rule #3: Hold Your Judgments

How often we have passionately expressed a gut reaction only to turn around and regret what we said after hearing more of the facts? Allow for a thoughtful pause before reacting, a space in which to ask yourself, "Do I have the whole story?"

Rule #4: Don't Be a Label Reader

People are unique. We tend to create labels like Liberal, Dead Head, Wise Guy, and think we know what's inside. Suddenly, we believe we know everything about someone, but they are not really all alike.
Rule #5: Open Your Mind

While we may not consciously feel the need to be right, we tend to have certain ideas about reality and feel groundless when they're threatened. Groundless now and then isn't a bad thing. Without it we can't break new ground or find common ground; it's okay to be unsure.

Rule #6: Focus

When someone is speaking, focus. If you're paying attention, you'll likely be showing signs of focus – such as making eye contact – without thinking about it at all. Below are some of the ways we show we're listening. Maintain eye contact. In the US, not making eye contact has the connotation of someone untrustworthy. But realize, too, that steady eye contact in some cultures is considered impolite or aggressive. Give non-verbal clues. Nod, lean towards the speaker, take on the general demeanor of someone who is interested. Encourage the speaker to go on. Especially over the phone, hearing no response feels like no one is listening.Don't be a verbal trespasser. A verbal trespasser is one who interrupts or finishes the speaker's sentences. Ask open questions. Open questions encourage the speaker. They elicit a more detailed response than closed questions. "What" and "Why" are usually helpful starts to open questions. Summarize. Summarizing is often helpful, especially if you have had a misunderstanding, are unsure of expectations, or have just reached an agreement. Ensure that everyone is coming away with the same idea.
Rule #7: Visualize

Visualization is a technique that can enhance listening: a picture is worth a thousand words. One way to use visualization is to visualize what you are being told. Some people are more visual than others. If visualization is more a chore than a help, you may not be a visual person. But anything new takes some adjustment and might take a few tries before feeling natural.

Rule #8: Remember Names

The first step in remembering names is deciding that they are important to remember. Listen when you're told about someone prior to introductions. Repeat the names when you are introduced. Make associations to remember names.

Rule #9: Question

Going into a listening situation with questions in your mind will help you remember and, often, put information into the framework of your existing knowledge. Listen to body language and be quick to clarify assumptions if you are unsure or are getting a negative message. Observe. Listen. Ask.

Rule #10: Be Aware

We must be aware of the speaker, aware of verbal and non-verbal cues, and aware of our own listening strengths and challenges. Bonus Rule: Know When To Break the Rules If it's hard to start a conversation and something mindless that engages a connection can bring you together, go for it!

5 + 5 = 5

 

5+ 5 = 5

 

By John Di Lemme

 

I know your thinking... 'Okay, John, 5+5 does not equal 5.'  So, please let me explain.

 

Let's start with a question. How many times have you heard that you need to have a "long term" goal and be focused for the entire length of that "long term?" In this message, I am going to focus on a 5 year goal and explain how you will know if you are truly on track to achieve your 5 year goal in life.  In the equation, the answer 5 is your five-year goal and the 5+5 is the underlying secret to attaining that goal. 

 

As I speak with numerous people on a daily basis, I hear their frustration about their goals that they‚ve set and the lack of progress that they have made.  As I say, "A mountain is built one pebble at a time and climbed one step at a time." 

 

The first "5" in the equation represents the 5 people that you call our friends, associates, etc.  I suggest that you make a list of the 5 people that you associate with on a regular basis, and then take a good look at it to see if they either have goals similar to yours or are progressing towards the achievement of a goal similar to your 5-year goal. A major key to unlock the secret to your future is to be 110% conscious of the fact that you will ultimately become who you associate with. For example, if you have dreams of becoming healthy and wealthy and your associates are overweight smokers that complain about working one-minute overtime, then I can predict the odds of you being healthy and wealthy is slim to none.

 

Millions of people never attain their dreams, because their "friends" serve as "cement shoes" as they walk towards their goals in life.  As I set my goals, I surround myself with people who are on the same path in life that I am on. If you truly internalize this same mindset, then you can achieve your goals in life. 

 

The second "5" in the equation is to take a personal inventory of the last 5 books that you have read or cassettes that you have listened to.  Just for fun, the next time one of your friends complains about something... ask them what were the last 5 books that they have read or cassettes they have listened to. You will get one of two answers:  I do not remember or I do not have the time to read.  Your last 5 books that you read will determine where your focus or direction is in life. The average person reads 1 book a year after high school, which is the #1 reason why 95% of people are "dead broke at age 65." Even the greatest computer in the world needs to be programmed in order to perform its functions. 

 

We are all designed for greatness, but we need to be conscious of our associations and what we are reading or listening to on a daily basis will decide the level of greatness that we all reach. Decide today to focus on your 5 year goal and realize that your 5 friends and the 5 books/tapes that you listen to will determine if you hit your goal or not. Success is simple, but not easy because it takes the ability to grow, stretch, search and learn to enjoy everyday as you progress towards your 5-year goal. 

5 + 5 = 5... give it a try and let me know if it works for you. 

I can actually predict your results: 5 + 5 = your dream.

A Short Course In Human Relations

 

The six most important words:

I admit I made a mistake

The five most important words:

You did a good job

The four most important words:

What is your opinion?

The three most important words:

If you please…

The two most important words:

Thank you

The one most important word:

We

The least important word:

I

*********

Identifying High Performers

Here are five of the top characteristics to consider when identifying high performers:
a) Gets results;
b) Influences others;
c) Displays leadership;
d) Seeks continuous learning; and
e) Demonstrates functional competency.

1. Gets Results
A history of delivering quality results across a period of time, different business conditions or complex situations is a good indicator of the potential to deliver future results. The current results are important as they are relevant to the current responsibility and business situation.
However, there are other aspects to consider. The individual's role in delivering the results is critical. It is possible to take over a well run business and post record results on the coattails of the previous business owner.
As a matter of fact it is common, as high-performers are often promoted based on their performance. Therefore, consistency of performance is a more valid indicator of an individual's ability to drive a business.
In addition, the consistency of performance over time is more predictive of future performance. This is particularly important when recruiting as a new employer is interested in what they can do in the future rather than what they did in the past.

2. Influence Others
High performing organizations are collaborative by nature. Even the most talented individual contributor needs to be able to communicate with others and build relationships or partnerships throughout the organization.
Moreover, this characteristic is increasingly important as workforces globalize. Demonstrated ability to communicate with internal and external groups is a skill set that high performers possess. More important is the higher-level ability to influence others.
High performing employees have cross-functional relationships and can communicate clearly and concisely to a wide audience of peers and subordinates in the organization. They typically make persuasive presentations and arguments for their ideas and as a result make a larger impact on the organization.

3. Displays Leadership
Following the rules is an important aspect of success, but leading people and developing leaders is critical to the future of an organization, particularly in times of transition or challenges to the business. Most people can follow, but not everyone can lead.
High performers typically balance the need to follow and execute with the ability to lead people and projects. Typically, organizations recognize high performers by giving them responsibility for key projects or business sectors. Their performance creates opportunity for growth and their ability to guide teams through complex situations helps build other leaders.
Therefore, the wake behind a high performer is not just results, but also other leaders within the organization and an increasing scope of responsibility.

4. Seeks Continuous Learning
A personal commitment to learning is paramount to performance. Even the best training and development program cannot improve the performance of an individual who is not committed to taking responsibility for his or her own development.
High-performing individuals seek out learning, formal or informal to hone their skills and stay on top of the latest trends and industry ideas. A simple question of how an individual stays on top of changes in the industry gives valuable insight as to their desire to be the best. Without the desire to learn, knowledge, skills and ability atrophy.
Most high performers are inquisitive and interested in innovation. Their careers demonstrate an ability to learn complex information and apply it to their role. The Internet and distance learning has become an important augmentation to corporate development.
If there isn't a commitment to learn, the level of performance will deteriorate and a high level of performance will not be maintained.

5. Demonstrate Functional Competency
Experienced individuals bring specific knowledge, skills and abilities to the table. A high level of technical competency is critical to the success of all positions; however, high performers typically have well-developed skills specific to their role and have a greater ability to apply those skills to achieve quality outcomes.
Poor performers may not be incompetent; however, their ability to apply their skills consistently or across varying situations is limited in comparison.
As important as functional competency is to overall performance, without proficiency in the other four characteristics -- the ability to get results, influence others, lead people and continuously learn -- an individual's contribution will be limited.
Identifying high performers is essential to every organization as these individuals are the backbone of the business, driving results and helping build the future of the organization.

Gain Self Confidence By 11 Simple Rules...

Gain Self Confidence By 11 Simple Rules

Self confidence gives us the freedom to commit mistakes and cope with failure without making us feel worthless. If only we have confidence in ourselves, can we gain confidence of others. After all, most people are reluctant to back a project that's being pitched by someone who is nervous, fumbling and overly apologetic. On the other hand, you might be persuaded by someone who spoke clearly, who held his or her head high, who answered questions assuredly, and who readily admitted when he/she did not know something. So where do you rate yourself on the scale of 1-10 for your confidence level? Do you think you fall in the low confidence bracket? Here's some good news for you. And the good news is that self-confidence can be learned and built on. Let's start the process of building self-confidence. Remember there is no quick fix solution for it. Nonetheless, practice makes a man perfect. So all you have to do is try and implement the following given tips in your day to day life.
Recognize your insecurities: We all have insecurities in life. It can be anything from acne, to regrets, to friends at school. Giving a name to the things which make you feel unworthy, ashamed or inferior helps to combat them. You can try to pen down your thoughts and you will find that it makes you feel much lighter and happier. Remember that no one is perfect. The man or woman sitting next to you might have the same amount of insecurities as you have. If writing doesn't come easily to you, you might want to talk it out with your friends or loved ones. Sharing your thoughts will help relieve the burden you have been carrying all alone. 
Identify your successes: No matter how insecure you might feel, God has blessed each one of us with some talent. Discover the things you are good at and then focus on improving them. Give yourself permission to take pride in your talents. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you've declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized. 
Be thankful for what you have: A lot of the times, at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether it's emotional validation, good luck, money, etc. By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and unsatisfied. Finding that inner peace will do wonders for your confidence. 
Be positive: Avoid self-pity or sympathy of others. Never allow others to make you feel inferior–they can only do so if you let them. If you continue to loathe and belittle yourself, others are going to do and believe likewise. Instead, speak positively about yourself, about your future, and about your progress. Do not be afraid to project your strengths and qualities to others. 
Dress sharp: Although clothes don't make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. When you don't look good, you don't feel good. It changes the way you carry yourself and interact with people. This doesn't mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many select, high quality items. In long run this decreases spending because expensive clothes wear out less easily and stay in style longer than cheap clothes. 
Walk faster: Your gait tells a lot about your personality. Is it slow? Tired? Painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. You can increase yourself confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel more important. 
Compliment other people: When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, you'll become well liked and build self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.

Take the front seat: Back benchers might seem to have a lot of fun in schools and colleges but that does nothing to boost their self confidence. Don't be afraid to get noticed. By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over your irrational fear of getting noticed and build your self confidence.  

Speak up: It's a general observation that many people are afraid to speak or ask questions in a group discussion or a public gathering. They are afraid that they might be judged for saying something stupid. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you'll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.
Work out: A healthy mind resides in a healthy body. If you are fit, you are surrounded by positivity and energy. If you are out of shape you feel unattractive. This leads to demoralization. Just a little discipline in your life can help shape up your self confidence in a big way. 
Smile: Last but not the least; try to smile as much as possible. People are always appreciative of a smiling face. You will be welcomed by anyone who comes in your contact. A smiling face is always received with warmth and affection. Acceptance and recognition from others helps in building self confidence. 

12 Key Factors Influencing Employee Passion

 

12 Key Factors Influencing Employee Passion: Impact of workplace environment on employee engagement.

 

1. Meaningful work. Employees perceive the organization' s larger purpose through products or services produced, consider their work to be worthwhile and are proud of their individual actions and contributions that help the organization serve its customers.

 

2. Collaboration. The organizational environment and culture enhances collaboration, cooperation and encouragement between all organizational members.

 

3. Autonomy. Employees have the tools, training, support and authority to make decisions.

 

4. Growth. Employees have opportunities to learn, grow professionally and develop skills that lead to advancement and career growth.

 

5. Task variety. Employees' individual job roles have the right level of challenge, complexity and variety.

 

6. Performance expectations. Employees have clear indicators of what is expected of them and how they will be evaluated.

 

7. Feedback. Employees receive timely, relevant and specific information on how they are performing.

 

8. Workload. Employees' workload is reasonably proportioned for the time they have to accomplish it.

 

9. Distributive fairness. Pay, benefits, resources and workload are fair, balanced and equitable; people treat each other with respect; and leaders act in an ethical manner.

 

10. Procedural fairness. Policies, procedures and decisions are reached in a fair and impartial manner.

 

11. Connectedness with leadership. Employees trust their leaders and their leaders make an effort to form an interpersonal connection with them.

 

12. Connectedness with colleagues. Employees trust their colleagues and their colleagues make an effort to form an interpersonal connection with them.

Confronting Conflicts

Confronting Conflicts

 

LIMITING DISCUSSION OF DIFFERENCES YIELD WORSE DECISIONS

 

Conflicts are inevitable, but it doesn't have to be bad. It all depends on the behavior and attitude of those who have to deal with it. Constructive action helps to resolve conflicts quicker vs. inflaming the situation and making it last longer.

 

When we say conflicts are inevitable, it is inevitable at our workplace as well. The employees comprising of staff, supervisors, officers, managers, directors comprising of the total strength of the organization regularly come together at one place to achieve common objectives which we term as ORGANIZATIONAL GOALS. In the process of achieving these goals, there are areas of conflicts / disagreements and this is where one needs to confront conflicts by resolving it / diluting it / mitigating it / dissolving it for the common good.

 

Consider the areas of constructive action.

 

• ACTIVELY LISTEN BEFORE RESPONSE. Actively listen to other people and show that you genuinely want to under their points of view. Look at them while they are talking. Ask pertinent questions. In your own words, restate, giving them a chance to clarify what they're saying. Wait to give your own opinions, and after you have done so, ask for feedback. Rather than trying to "win" as if you were in sort of a contest, honestly try to find out why they feel the way they do.

 

• FOCUS ON SOLUTIONS. Strive to focus on the problem to come out with solutions and not on the people involved. Try to get at the root causes. Winners examine root causes. Losers look only at surface symptoms. Avoid "sore points" that encourage greater confrontation. Look for points for mutual agreement and work on those points first; then go on to the points of difference. Brainstorm possible solutions.

 

• GIVE REASONS WITHOUT EMOTION. Speak honestly about your feelings. Tell why you feel the way you do. Speak up, and be honest, but in a thoughtful, controlled manner.

 

• OFFER NEW OPTIONS. Take the first step toward compromise. Discuss past mistakes and how the issue might have been handled differently. If you learn that you did something to hurt someone, apologize.

 

It is not an easy action to confront conflicts. It requires a great deal of maturity, understanding and the implications involved in coming out of conflicting situations. When confronting with the conflicts, interest of the organization, people, resources, time, and relationships largely matters. The more effective you are in resolving conflicts the more you would be tested with larger and varied degrees of conflicts. This will put you in to a great of mental and physical anguish which you may not have encountered with. Under these circumstances, you need to stretch yourself, be positive by believing in yourself and come out with a consensus which your colleagues / members appreciate. This action of yours will make you a very special individual for your organization.

 

Good Listening Skills

1. Concentration.

Good listening is normally hard work. At every moment we are receiving literally millions of sensory messages. Nerve endings on our bottom are telling us the chair is hard, others are saying our clothes are binding, nerve ending in our nose are picking up the smells of cooking French fries, or whatever, our ears are hearing the buzzing of the computer fan, street sounds, music in the background and dozens of other sounds, our emotions are reminding us of that fight we had with our mate last night, and thousands more signals are knocking at the doors of our senses. We have to repress almost all of these and concentrate on the verbal sounds (and visual clues) from one source - the speaker. And this concentration, if something that most of us have not been thoroughly trained in how to do. Focus your attention - on the words, ideas and feeling related to the subject. Concentrate on the main ideas or points. Don't let examples or fringe comments detract you. All of this takes a conscious effort.

 

2. Attention. Attention may be defined as the visual portion of concentration on the speaker.  Through eye contact (see below) and other body language, we communicate to the speaker that we are paying close attention to his/her messages. All the time we are reading the verbal and nonverbal cues from the speaker, the speaker is reading ours. What messages are we sending out? If we lean forward a little and focus our eyes on the person, the message is we are paying close attention.

 

3. Eye contact. Good eye contact is essential for several reasons: First, by maintaining eye contact, some of the competing visual inputs are eliminated. You are not as likely to be distracted from the person talking to you. Second, most of us have learned to read lips, often unconsciously, and the lip reading helps us to understand verbal messages. Third, much of many messages are in non-verbal form and by watching the eyes and face of a  person we pick up clues as to the content. A squinting of the eyes may indicate close attention. A slight nod indicates understanding or agreement. Most English language messages can have several meanings depending upon voice inflection, voice modulation, facial expression, etc. Finally, our eye contact with the speaker is feedback concerning the message: Yes, I am listening, I am paying attention. I hear you. Remember: a person's face, mouth, eyes, hands and body all help to communicate to you. No other part of the body is as expressive as the head.

 

4. Receptive Body Language. Certain body postures and movements are culturally interpreted with specific meanings. The crossing of arms and legs is perceived to mean a closing of the mind and attention. The nodding of the head vertically is interpreted as agreement or assent. (It is worth noting that nonverbal clues such as these vary from culture to culture just as the spoken language does.) If seated, the leaning forward with the upper body communicates attention. Standing or seated, the maintenance of an appropriate distance is important. Too close and we appear to be pushy or aggressive and too far and we are seen as cold.

 

5. Understanding of Communication Symbols. A good command of the spoken language is essential in good listening. Meaning must be imputed to the words. For all common words in the English language there are numerous meanings. The three-letter word, "run" has more than one hundred different uses. You as the listener must concentrate on the context of the usage in order to correctly understand the message. The spoken portion of the language is only a fraction of the message. Voice inflection, body language and other symbols send messages also. Thus, a considerable knowledge of nonverbal language is important in good listening.

 

6. Objective We should be open to the message the other person is sending. It is very difficult to be completely open because each of us is strongly biased by the weight of our past experiences. We give meaning to the messages based upon what we have been taught the words and symbols mean by our parents, our peers and our teachers. Talk to someone from a different culture and watch how they give meaning to words. Or another listening challenge is to listen open and objectively to a person with very different political or religious beliefs. Can you do that? Really? It is wonderful if you can, but relatively few people can listen, understand and appreciate such messages which are very different from their own. If you cannot, it is time to start because as a leader you will need to understand a wide range of opinions on often-controversial subjects.

 

7. Restating the message. Your restating the message as part of the feedback can enhance the effectiveness of good communications. A comment such as: "I want to make sure that I have fully understood your message...." and then paraphrase in your own words the message. If the communication is not clear, such a feedback will allow for immediate clarification. It is important that you state the message as clearly and objectively as possible.

 

8. Questioning/Clarifying. Questions can serve the same purpose as restating the message. If you are unclear about the intent of the message, ask for more information after allowing sufficient time for explanations. Don't ask questions that will hurt, embarrass or show up the other person. Only part of the responsibility is with the speaker. You have an important and active role to play also. If the message does not get through, two people have failed the speaker and you as an active listener.

 

9. Empathy - not sympathy. Empathy is the "the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another...." Sympathy is "having common feelings..." (Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, 10th edition) In other words as a good listener you need to be able to understand the other person, you do not have to become like them. Try to put yourself in the speaker's position so that you can see what he/she is trying to get at.

 

10. Strategic Pauses. Pauses can be used very effectively in listening. For example, a pause at some points in the feedback can be used to signal that you are carefully considering the message that you are "thinking" about what was just said.

 

11. Don't Interject. There is a great temptation at many times for the listener to jump in and say in essence: "isn't this really what you meant to say." This carries the message: "I can say it better than you can," which stifles any further messages from the speaker. Often, this process may degenerate into a game of one-upmanship in which each person tries to outdo the other and very little communication occurs.

 

12. Leave the Channel Open. A good listener always leaves open the possibility of additional messages. A brief question or a nod will often encourage additional communications

 

13. You cannot listen while you are talking. This is very obvious, but very frequently overlooked or ignored. An important question is why are you talking: to gain attention to yourself? Or to communicate a message?

Ten Commandments for better financial health for life

 

1)                  Pay full credit card bills on due date
Remember, if you do not pay the entire bill amount on the due date, interest is charged from the date of spending, and not the due date for payment. That factor alone can push up credit rates to over 40 per cent per annum; and this makes it probably the most expensive form of credit. Kill the credit with a personal loan if required — and follow the discipline of no more rollover of credit henceforth.

2)                  Close all unnecessary bank accounts

How many of us open new bank accounts with each new job, and haven't even checked the balance in the dormant ones in the past one year?

3)                  Keep one month's expenses in bank a/c

As you may have realized, the bank pays interest on your savings bank account at a rate lower than that of inflation. That's not to say that the rest needs to be invested for the long-term. I am only stating that you can earn a bit more through fixed deposits or short-term mutual funds for funds needed more than 30 days later.

4)                  Buy life insurance
You buy life insurance to benefit your loved ones, not yourself. Buy the cover that you need today — remember to get the term plans first so that the sum assured is adequate for your family's needs.

5)                  Ensure all nominations are in place

Make sure all your bank accounts, investments, insurance policies, have up-to-date nominations in place. Review this at least once a year.

6)                  Start investing early
The power of compounding is phenomenal. A 25-year old investing Rs 10,000 per month for 20 years, and then letting the money stay invested, all at 10% pa accumulates Rs 3.3 crore at the age of 60.
A person starting 10 years later (at age 35) needs to invest 2.5 times the amount (Rs 25,000 per month) for 25 years to reach the same corpus of Rs 3.3 crore.

7)                  Invest regularly

Systematic investment where the long-term trend is upwards (as in India) is the best way to eliminate risks of investing in equity markets.
Those who continued doing so in 2008 and early 2009 when the chips seemed down and out have more than seen value in this investment philosophy.

8)                  Make a financial plan
Determine your financial goals. Locate a certified financial planner. Get a plan made to help you reach your financial goals, based on the risks that you can take; not just the risks that you wish to take.

9)                  Stick to the financial plan

 Financial plans result in arriving at an asset allocation which takes into account risks, returns as well as liquidity.
Ensure that the allocation is reviewed periodically and balance it so that you can cut risks when the market is over-heated and enter boldly when all others are dancing barefoot on a hot tin roof!

10)               Review first 9 commandments regularly
Discipline is the key to managing your money better. Go over these commandments and add others. The more the merrier.

What You Think Is What You Get - The Law of Attraction

The law of attraction is surprisingly simple: Like attracts like. It becomes a bit more complicated when it comes to training our minds to think in ways that will bring what we desire into our lives. The term "self-fulfilling prophecy" describes the same law. This well-known term explains that we create the circumstances our mind dwells upon, whether positive or negative. So our goal is to practice consistent presence of mind to make sure our thoughts are always directed toward the positive and that which we want to create. 

A key to the process is the word "frequency." This is true for two reasons: 1) The frequency you use when you passionately dwell upon or revisit a thought, dream, desire or goal provides the energy your musings need for creation; and 2) just like a radio station broadcasts on a certain frequency, like the radio you must be "tuned in" to receive it. This means preparing for the arrival of your dream on every possible level—material, physical, and spiritual. You don't have to know how it will come into your life, just trust that it will. Your job is to lay the groundwork, follow any leads you can find, and prepare for its arrival. This can mean cleaning out your garage to make space for a new car, taking a tour of a model home to get the feel of it in order to feed your fantasies, or thinking of what you want in a mate and then living up to that list yourself. 

Just like with any skill, the law of attraction must be practiced. We must decide what makes us feel abundant, and use our imagination to create the feeling. It isn't enough to just want something; you must use the power of your thoughts to attract it. A series of choices is what brings us everything in our lives right now, every moment. When we know the direction we want our choices to take us, it is as if we've placed an order with the universe. Then we can await its arrival with joyful anticipation. If we find ways to experience our dreams right now, we make creating joy a treasure hunt in which the seeking is just as much fun as the finding.

Be a Great Problem Solver

Problems, difficulties & obstacles are a normal, natural & unavoidable fact of life. If you have to get ahead of life you have to face a series of problems ceaselessly without getting weary. Your work will be a continuous succession of problems, like the waves coming in from the ocean, one after the other. You will have problems all day long which might vary in size & importance.

 

The only part of this situation that you can control is your attitude, the way in which you approach each problem as it arises. Unfortunately, most people allow themselves to be overwhelmed by problems. They get scared, frightful & portray it larger than life as if they are going to eaten away by them. They think & talk continually about who is to blame, why the problem has occurred, & the possible repercussions in terms of damage or cost. But this not at all helpful.

 

Instead, your job is to be solution oriented & concentrate all your energies on what can be done to resolve the problem, whatever it is.

 

People who are solution-oriented are the most valuable people in any organization. They are extremely positive & constructive. They concentrate & focus like eagles on what can be done now rather than what has already occurred & cannot be changed.

 

There are several strategies as how to dilute the problems & difficulties.

 

• You can change your attitude from negative & worried to positive & constructive in a single moment by simply switching your thoughts off of the problem & onto the solution. Instead of asking or worrying about who did what & who is to blame, you should instead ask the questions, "what do we do now?" & "What's the solution?"

 

• Program your mind well in advance on the problems & difficulties you are going to face when faced with challenges. If you plan in advance for the inevitable, when they come, you will be psychologically prepared. You are not caught unawares. It is not easy but with constant practice your mind will come out with some solution. This is where you show yourself, & everyone around you, what you are truly made of.

 

• Ask yourself why are you on your company's pay roll?  Draw a list of everything you have been hired to do. Also be sure to differentiate between activities & accomplishments, between inputs & the required outputs of your job. Then organize your list of priority, by what is most important & what is less important. You have been given a certain designation, status, authority & responsibility & salary in your company to resolve the problems & come out with a solution. 

 

• When confronted with bigger problems, difficulties the other alternative could also be to involve your boss. List out the problems you are facing in your work with the solutions & take it to your boss. What does your boss consider to be the most ideal solution to the problem you are confronted with in your work place, whatever his answer, immediately resolve to work every day, every hour precisely on those tasks to come out with a solution. 

 

• Be a kind of person to bring in ideas, imagination & creativity when you come to your work place. Only by practicing & putting it daily your ideas & imagination will get better. Once the ideas start flowing, they get better & better. Once they get better, they keep improving. If these ideas, imagination which get generated automatically is put  for diluting problems in your work place, you tend to rated as highly valuable.

 

• Remember, all of life is a test. For you to emerge successful in terms of solution, you must pass the 'persistence test.' You take the persistence test whenever you are confronted with unexpected problems in the place of work. Once you decide not to give up come what may in terms of decimating the problems, you will be termed as a problem solver. Eventually, you will reach a point in life where you become absolutely unstoppable.

 

 

In business & in life, the better you get at solving problems, the bigger will be the problems you will be given to solve. The bigger & more the problems you solve, the more money you will be paid, the more power you will have, & the higher position you will attain.

 

Resolve to be solution oriented in your approach towards life & work. Be the kind of person that people bring their problems to because you always have ideas as to how to go about solving them. The more you focus on solutions, the more effectively you think & the better solutions you come up with. You can put your entire life & career on the fast track towards being paid more & promoted faster by becoming an intensely solution-oriented person.